Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Green Lantern

*Spoiler alert*

Let's talk about Thor's movie formula again, shall we?

1. Hero/Main Character- Get a super good looking one.

2. Protagonist/Bad Guy-A villain with a primary school IQ that wish to rule the world.

3. Confidant/Sidekick- Hot chick with a Ph.D level in Pendidikan Moral, who always taught shit into the Hero.

4.Scriptwriting- You don't need to hire a scriptwriter, just write one when you're going to the toilet to unload your craps, remember to throw in some lame jokes or slapstick comedy though.

5. Acting- ok, not so bad, bcoz the Hero is super hot, and the sidekick is super Sexy.

6. Extras/Ke le fei- Very crucial and important, to make the whole big scenes look real enough, get a bunch of them.

You see...about Green's about the same formula..


It's better, in a few points.

4. Scriptwriting- more lame jokes.

6. Extras/Ke le fei- Very crucial and important, to make the whole big scenes look real enough.......GET THE WHOLE CITY OF THEM.


Seriously, what would you do when you see the sky is filled with poop, and bunch of tentacles are coming out from it? It's like MAGGOTS on POOPS!

Answer: The city just decided to stand there and watch, taking videos and upload it on facebook. No sense of danger at all?

When is the last time you saw your own poop trying to make you rich or make you feel good, faggots??

And this movie, they have epic battle scenes too.

Sinestro: "Oh, wise ones, let me lead the strongest squadron of Green Lanterns and defeat this evil Parallax."

Wise Guys: "Go"

0 sec. Bunch of Green Lanterns, about 13 or more soaring up high in the galaxy..swwooooosh~

6 secs. Swoooooosh~

10 secs. We found the target..swoooosh~

14 secs. Target Chained.

16 secs. Target Speared.

21 secs. Target is pissed off. Vacuum mode is initiated.

25 secs. Green Lanterns all died.

28 secs. Sinestro (I don't know why, but still alive) is back at the HQ, reporting their failure.

And the costume, not much to complain, but still going to complain anyway.

Skin-tight, a bit gayish.

The mask, only covers the eyes.

Main character, obviously the superhero, attend to a big party, and he's sort of a big shot.

Everyone knows him.

Danger appears.

Transform into Green Lantern.

Save People.

But everyone was like: "Oh, a Super-Hero! I wonder who he is? Hmmm~"

Yea, I'm pretty sure the face structure, the facial hair and his hairdo wasn't clear enough for you to recognize that's the same dude that attend to your party (he's a bigshot too)

Same goes to you, Superman.

There's also some weird scenes.

Guy: "Argh, a talking fish!"

Fish: "I am Fishy, guardian of 2148, my home planet is-"

Guy: "Is Mailian, home with 3.2 billion species...*blah blah blah, some intelligent things*"

Guy: "How did I do that?"

Fish: "The power of the ring, grants you the abilities to power up your functions."

Guy: "Where am I?"

Go figure?

Superhero movies these days never ceased to disappoint me.



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